Loneliness is just a wall you walk into very often. You stumble your way through this gruesome forest of life just to encounter this
wall once in a while and you don’t have an answer. You prepared yourself for this situation for years. You thought that when time would come and you would need help there will be these few people standing next to you ready to break down the wall with you and you never checked to look back cause you always believed they were there behind you. But now they are gone. They are nowhere to be seen when the time of reckoning comes. They leave you standing there helpless and alone, unprepared for what might be there behind that wall. You just stand there looking up trying to look for ways to fight this war alone as the suns coming down in the distance. You just wasted countless number of months preparing for the inevitable just to be left alone on the lonesome day.
We are just another lost sailor in sea with our own little tiny raft we have created not knowing that will this be good enough to protect us from the storm. We sit there on that piece of wood staring at the clouds pass us by, praying to God for some help, for some company. The clouds far away are our only companions. Yes there might be angels above seeing the pain in our eyes and wanting to come down to help us but we are too far for them. We still don’t stop hoping. We still pray that someday we will cross someone’s path exactly like us, lost like us, alone like us, looking for answers to questions that trouble the very best of us. We don’t want to be alone. The biggest craving for man is companionship.
The great American director and writer, Orsen Welles once said – “We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.”
He may be right, it’s just an illusion we create around us to keep us happy. Life has many roads and turns on its path. Every time we are coming towards a corner we hope to take the turn and find happiness on the other side. We hope that we shall find people like us on the other side ready to embrace us with open arms and let you be a part of your life. But again what we fail to take into account is that why would a complete stranger, open his heart and let us be the pillar he or she stands by. We are just another backstage actor in their enactment of life.
Mother Teressa once said and I quote, “The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”
I do not say that I fight the war of life alone. I do not say that people haven’t been there when I needed them. Majority of the times they pulled me out when I was digging the hole to cross the wall cause they were ready to bring it down with me. There are a few still standing on the other side wanting to help me at this moment but again I cannot feel their warmth cause they are not close to me. I sit here in despair shivering away in the night with the moon climbing till the top of the hill with a huge smile on his face. He has won tonight’s fight. He has left me weak, with tears in my eyes and fear in my heart. I sit alone and listen. I sit here and wait, helpless. I sit here and pray that someday those people on the other side will get to me and find me and drag me out of here or at least give me the strength to stand again and walk with me till the end of time.
I close my eyes and can hear you whisper in my ears,
As long as I’m living
I’ll be waiting
As long as I’m breathing
I’ll be there
Whenever you call me
I’ll be waiting
Whenever you need me
I’ll be there.
That is all the strength I need to brave this night alone. I will sit here and wait for this hand to pull me up. All I can do for now is just sit here and wait.
Lonelyreaders 